We Shouldn't
by emilyjaaayne
Summary: A relationship between Erin and Jay has always been taboo, but when they cave and new opportunities arise, will they be able to make it work?
1. What Is Your Problem?

"For fuck sake Jay," she muttered under her breath in between angry but still relatively quiet bangs at his door. It was 3am and despite how pissed she might have been at him, she didn't want to disrespect his neighbours.

"What the hell are you doing here Erin?" he grunted as he opened the door, sleepy-eyed and only half dressed. "It's 3am and I'm positive we finished this at the bar, there is nothing else to talk about here." He had pretty much sobered when Kelly had thrown him a black eye but the post-fight whiskeys were starting to go to his head.

"No, Jay, you finished whatever the hell you were playing at but I didn't have a look in before you stormed out." She was finding it really hard to get her words out, not being able to take her eyes off the bruise that was coming out on his face. She stormed through the doorway, making Jay stumble as he lost his balance, slamming it behind her. She spun around to face him. "What the fuck was that?!"

"Was what Erin?" He was so damn sick of her heroics, pretending she was above the chemistry they had between them and he was crazy for acknowledging it. Like there was actually something there between her and Kelly. "The black eye the fucking fireman gave me, huh?"

She was stunned into silence. She knew he was right so why was she defending Kelly? He was far too drunk and did need to go home but it wasn't Jays place. "It wasn't your place Jay, Kelly isn't your problem!" She couldn't help but shout, to try and give her argument some gravity that she knew it was lacking.

"Jesus, when will you get it Erin? Anything he does to put you in danger or hurt you IS my problem!" He inched closer to her, backing her into the wall a little. "Why won't you get it?"

She could feel his breath on her skin, he was so close. All she wanted to do was scream how much she knew and how she hated having to hide it, but she couldn't. Not with Kelly and Allie back in the picture, it was too unfair. She ran her hands up through her hair and left them there while she just stared at him.

"It pisses me off so much Erin, how you have to use him to prove a point to me. To prove that we can be professional or however you want to put it," he said, his voice still raised.

She had nothing to say, she couldn't retaliate because she knew that yet again, he was right. The tension was building up and all she wanted to do was cave in to him. He opened his mouth to say something but before the words could escape his mouth, she tiptoed up to him until their mouths met. Jay let a huge sigh into her mouth, pinning her arms above her head the second he realised what was going on. He didn't care anymore. Kelly, Allie, they all went out of his head the moment they made contact.

Erin took a deep breath in, in the second break she had between kissing Jay. She couldn't believe she had tried to put this off. Their tongues were darting between each other, like an incredibly synchronized dance, her hands still pinned above her head. He pulled away for a second, looked at her and grinned when she tried to inch her way forward to kiss him again. He taunted her for a second but he couldn't help himself and he jumped right back in. This time, he placed a knee in between her legs to wedge them open a little and she stifled a laugh. She loved the amount of control he had over her, she'd always wondered where he channelled his post-work anger, and she wasn't complaining.

He moved a hand from hers down to in between her legs that his knee had made room for, while his mouth made its way down to her neck, placing rough kisses all the way down to her collarbone, nibbling and sucking occasionally before heading back to kissing her normally. He started to slowly and gently rub up her thigh, close enough to tease her but far enough away to make her want more. She started to kiss him more desperately, and with each kiss he'd rub a little harder. She moved her own hand down to his, trying to move it up the slightest touch but he slapped it away.

"Nuh uh," he groaned into her mouth, grinning a little as she sighed.

This time he moved both hands up beneath her ass and lifted her against the wall, letting her straddle him as he held her up. This time it was her groans that were heard beneath kisses as the way he was stood holding her up meant she was perfectly placed to feel him growing in his underwear against her crotch. She tried to grind a little, anything to try and tease him a little like the way he teased her. He just laughed, thrusting very subtly against her to give her what she wanted...


	2. Too Much Tequila

**A/N - Hey guys! So this is my first solo piece of writing. The first chapter was pretty rushed and I forgot to put an authors note on so here it is. This was originally going to be a 2-part one shot but I think I'm turning it into something more. Updates should be at least once or twice a week but I'm also doing a collab with bubbly88tay so sometimes that will be prioritised. It's another Linstead fic called Halfway There, Check it out and enjoy this for now! (PS, italics are like flashbacks/past tense).**

_You could always tell when both the firehouse and the unit had had a rough day, because any normal citizen in Chicago wouldn't be able to get a look in edgeways in Mollies. Instead, it was full to the brim of detectives, firefighters, paramedics and uniforms after hours, drinking away the misery from the day, or celebrating the bust or save. Gabby, Erin, Kelly, Allie, Jay and Antonio were lined up across the bar, Hermann walking along pouring tequila shots like a storm. _

"_Here's to the end of another god awful gang reign over Chicago!" Antonio shouted as they all downed their shots, not even bothering to clink glasses. _

_The guys at 51 had been called to a fire at a stash house belonging to the Latin Kings, most of the gang had trapped inside to try and save the cocaine, allowing Intelligence time to remove £50k off the street and pinch the ringleaders. It had been a good day overall. Kelly slammed his glass down on the bar, he was way ahead of the rest of them and it was blatantly obvious that the alcohol has gone to his head. He grabbed the inside of Erin's thigh roughly as he summoned Otis over for more shots, much to her dismay._

"_Hey Severide, not here yeah?" She tried to say quietly, with the hope that no-one would notice. "I think we should shoot soon too, anymore tequila and I'll be carrying you over my shoulder back home," she laughed._

_Kelly however didn't take it so lightly. He wasn't so good with his alcohol and got on the defensive very quickly._

"_What do you mean by that? I've hardly even had anything to drink!" He shouted, shoving himself out of his stool, stumbling into her as he tried to catch his balance._

_The whole bar went quiet, everyone reducing their conversations down to murmurs. The second Jay saw Kelly move he stood up._

"_Look Kelly," he said lowly as he walked around Erin with his hand on her shoulder to make sure she didn't fall off her bar stool. He was too focused on managing Severide's anger for Erin's sake to notice the glares coming from Allies way. He didn't like Kelly, and he certainly didn't like Kelly when he was drunk. "You've had a little too much; don't ruin a good day for yourself."_

"_Jay, leave it. Come on Kelly," Erin said as she tried to reclaim the situation, knowing how Kelly would react to Jay attempting to come to her rescue but it was too late._

"_Screw this!" Severide spun around to Allie. "You don't think I'm too drunk do you?" He smiled. The whole bar watching as he rubbed her arm up and down, making her incredibly uncomfortable._

_Jay blew a fuse there and then. He walked over and grabbed Kelly's shoulder. _

"_Get your hands off her, Erin is right behind you, you pri-". _

_Jay didn't even have a chance to finish cursing Severide before he felt a sharp left hook to his face, stumbling back into Ruzek who had gotten up to defuse the bomb that was ready to explode. He caught Halstead around the waist and it was a good job, because if he hadn't of had a hold of him, Jay would have launched himself right back at the firefighter. Instead, after a few seconds Adam let him go and he grabbed his jacket off the stool, catching Lindsay's arm with his zip, not that he noticed. "Fuck this," spurted out of his mouth as he stormed out of Mollies, shortly followed by Allie while Erin called Voight to pick her up._

* * *

><p><em>Jay could have probably cut the tension in the air between him and Allie in the cab with a spoon. The whole journey was silent, until she spoke to ask the driver to deter to her parents house on the way back.<em>

"_Hey, you don't have to do that, it's your last night here," Jay mumbled, knowing that she really did and he didn't blame her. He's pretty much forgotten she was even there when he was trying to protect Erin, he couldn't imagine how it made her feel._

"_Yeah I do Jay, that was not normal back there. The look in your eye when he so much as stood up too quickly next to her was not normal, not when I'm around." She paused. "Look I get it, you can so tell that there is something between you two, but that was embarrassing for me, maybe you should call her tonight instead." _

_It killed her to say it but she knew she had to let her high school sweetheart venture away sooner or later. He looked her dead in the eye and then to the floor of the cab as it pulled up to the Corson residence, he couldn't conjure a sentence to try and resurrect their night._

"_I'm sorry," he whispered as she reached over and pecked him on the cheek before hopping out without saying another word._

* * *

><p><em>Erin was furious, pacing her apartment. She hadn't even been able to tell Voight what had happened, their car journey also silent. Voight knew better than to ask questions when she wouldn't speak, she'd tell him eventually and he was okay with that, but bar a thank-you when she got out the car, nothing was exchanged between them.<em>

_What had Kelly been thinking? Damn, what was Jay thinking?! What made him think she was some damsel in distress who needed his help? He had no right considering his ass was the one who needed saving most of the time. Her feet couldn't keep up with the thoughts racing through her head; she could almost feel the friction burning when her heels spun on her flooring. She'd left Kelly at the bar, he'd gotten himself occupied by some stupid blonde after she'd stood her ground with him, she wasn't going to take any of his shit._

* * *

><p><em>There he sat on his sofa, trying to absorb what had happened at Mollies, with a glass of scotch in one hand and an ice pack in the other. He'd stripped down for bed until he realised he needed to do something to counteract some of the swelling in his eye, courtesy of the fireman, before work in the morning. After 3 glasses of scotch and a numb face, he started drifting off to sleep on the sofa.<em>

* * *

><p><em>She couldn't just stay here, she had to confront Jay. He can't just think he can get away with getting in her business like that. She knew she couldn't drive; the tequila was still making her head a little fuzzy so she hailed a cab. During the journey she clicked that she wasn't even annoyed at him, she was just fuelling her resentment for Kelly for ruining the night towards him, she just didn't know why. Maybe it was because she knew he could take it? She hadn't a clue but she still found herself angrily rapping at his door as the clocks turned to 3am. <em>

She wrapped her legs tight around his waist, pulling him closer in the hope that he'd thrust a little harder but instead he spun her around, carrying her to his room and laying her down on his bed and pulling himself on top of her. They pulled apart for a second, and she took that moment to admire how he was built. He was holding himself above her, the veins in his arms protruding as his muscles tensed to keep him up, the broadness of his shoulders completely overshadowing her.

He looked down at her while he could, taking in the beauty of her half-sober eyes and slightly smudged lipstick before going in to kiss her again. He kept himself balanced on one arm, the other making its way up her side tantalisingly slowly, dipping under her shirt before continuing up and firmly gripping her neck. He felt the vibration of her groan on his hand as it moved up her throat, and again on his lips as it escaped her mouth. He used his grip to move her neck to the side to plant rough kisses down her neck and around her collarbone before catching her by surprise by rolling over and pulling her on top of him.

He took another second to appreciate her in all of her glory as she sat on top of him, her legs either side of him as she crossed her arms and slowly pulled off her shirt, watching him smile as she did so before resting her chest against his to kiss him again. He ran his hands up her bare back, her soft skin contrasting against his dry hands. He took his time finding the clasp of her bra, tracing his fingertips all the way along the band before releasing it and pulling it off of her arms. This time, she took control as she placed his hands on her hips, resting on the rise of her jeans as she slowly rolled her hips. Resting hands soon became gripping hands as he tried to make her roll fasted, releasing little moans into her mouth, making her smile knowing that she was getting him back for teasing.

"Hey Erin," he mumbled between kisses, before pulling away completely. "Are you sure you this is okay, what about Kelly?"

"What about him?" She replied, as she placed deep kisses and long licks down his jaw line towards his neck.

That was enough for Jay. He was a decent guy and he trusted her, he knew she wouldn't go behind his back and he didn't want Severide story time while he had Erin was grinding on top of him.

Erin didn't bother asking about Allie, she knew it was nothing serious between them two, instead, she carried on kissing and licking and biting away down Jay's chest, her hands getting a bit carried away fiddling away with the band of his Calvin Kleins, She looked up at him as her mouth got closer and closer...


	3. Done With Small Doses

**A/N – Hey guys! I know this is an update pretty soon but I've been quite disappointed in 1 and 2 so I wanted to provide an elaborate and fabricated chapter to open up the characters a little, specifically Jay. I hope you like the little twist at the end, I'm hoping to be able to have some fun with it. I love hearing what you want to see in reviews so feel free to leave me constructive criticism. Enjoy!**

The blinding morning sun, pretty low in the sky courtesy of a Chicagoan December peaked through Jay's gaping curtains woke Erin at around 8 am. She chuckled at the sight of them both tangled up in Jays sheets, half exposed to the world with her left leg draped over him, her head buried into the nook of his neck. She lifted her head up, squinting as her eyes adjusted to the light. Her attention was captured immediately by the way every groove and dent in his body was lit up by the winter light, emphasising the beauty that radiated from his sleeping self as his body raised and fell lightly in rhythm with his breathing. She took a moment to take in everything that happened that night, running her gaze up from his barely covered crotch, up to his v-lines and abs that she was dying to trace but resisted to prevent waking him. Soon enough she reached his face and gasped, "shit."

She'd been so wrapped up in the thoughts the way her anger had added so much to the sexual tension between them that they cracked and he whisked her up into his arms; the way he knew exactly where to touch and press and kiss, the way he knew how to hold her and stroke her, the way he knew how fast to go and when to hold still for just a second. She was so wrapped up in the way she had fallen into him in the early hours of the morning that she hadn't given a second thought to the purples, blacks and blues emerging from the left hand side of Jay's face. She took a second to remember how Kelly had jumped the gun and hurt him, it looked so painful. That was one less reason to wake him so she slowly peeled herself from him and hopped out of bed to make some breakfast and prepare him is hangover cure, it was the least she could do after the trouble at Mollies.

She didn't even bother to cover her modesty with sheets while she raked around his ridiculously organised drawers for a tee, picking out a burgundy red one with a deep v-neck that fell halfway down her thighs. It was one of many things that highlighted the difference between her petite 5'4 frame and his built 6'1 one, but it made her smile.

She whisked her hair up into a messy high ponytail and tiptoed out of his room to keep noise to a minimum despite Jay having laminate flooring, which was cold to the touch. His apartment looked different this time around. She had spent the night plenty but something about the feel wasn't the same. Maybe it was the way it was lit up or because she'd spent the night in his bed over his sofa but she liked it. She took her time to take it all in. She stood in the doorway and gazed around the room, she loved the way he had his apartment set out. His sofa on a slight angle for optimum comfort when watching the game, right beside it was his favourite mahogany side table to match the red tones of the rest of his furniture, the top drawer had a box of marble whiskey stones alongside his Heckler & Koch USP pistol, a gift from the Corsons from the day he graduated the academy with "J. Halstead" engraved along the barrel and his box of army badges at the back. The gun had been bought for him as it was the first gun he'd ever properly shot with when Danny took him to the range for the first time, he loved handling it. The cupboard underneath locked with a key contained a bottle of 20 year old Balblair single malt scotch with two glasses, only touched when necessary, and she had noticed that the door was open a touch, possibly from before when she arrived. Above his TV were two shelves, next to each other but at different heights, with 5 or 6 aged, leather-bound classics such "War of the Worlds", accompanied by some travelling books. Everything was spotless, surprisingly because his desk at work looked like a bombsite.

She wandered aimlessly over to the kitchen, swinging around the bench to preheat the a pan with a little oil in it for open plan room allowed her to admire the apartment in full as she poured a glass of water, buttered some bread and found some aspirin in the cupboard before going back to the room to place it on his bedside table for when he woke. His apartment suited him, every little bit matched some part of his personality.

Jay watched out of the corner of his eyes as he saw her legs wander closer, keeping them mostly shut so she didn't realise he was awake. The second the tray left her fingertips, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back into the bed on top of him. She positioned herself a little more comfortably, sat on his hips, legs either side.

"Well good morning to you too," she smiled as she leant in to kiss him.

"I'll say good morning indeed," he laughed, kissing her right back, taking a deep sigh in.

She pulled up, stroking her index finger around the bruised and swollen side of his face. Although she only touched lightly, she felt his face tense beneath her touch, repelling her hand.

"How does it feel?" She questioned.

"Eh, it hurts but hey look what it got me," he said with a low growl as he flipped her over onto her back and completely towered over her. He glanced down at her smooth, open legs. Her crotch just covered by his favourite tee, covered a little too much for his liking. He looked back up at her and smiled, not breaking eye contact as he ran his hand up the inside of her thigh, pushing the shirt up a little.

"How about you? How does this feel?" he grinned as her eyes rolled back into her head as she closed them, preparing for his electric touch, jumping a little as he slowly teased his fingertips further up her legs.

"That feels," she sighed, "real good."

"Really?" he asked as he slowly planted kisses down her body over his tee, little groans escaping her mouth followed by a 'mhm'. "That's a shame," he said as he hopped out of bed quickly, turning to her as he bound out of the room towards the kitchen, "because I smell burning." He laughed.

Erin, unimpressed by the lack of his presence as he took over making breakfast just laid in his bed, watching the wispy flakes of snow fall and lie on his balcony. She couldn't control her face as her grin made her cheeks ache. She'd had the most incredible night with Jay; the emotions she was feeling were overwhelming, she found it nigh on impossible to believe they'd put off for so long. For a second, the thought of what the hell they were going to do next flickered across her mind but she refused to think about it. She just wanted to enjoy the morning before shift, until she had to face Voight and possibly Kelly.

She knew that he pretty much ended it when he hit Jay and neglected her for that woman in the bar in front of all their friends but she couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt about the fact she'd just jumped into Jay's bed the second Kelly strayed. It made him look like a rebound but truth be told, Kelly had never made her feel half of what Jay did in 12 hours, in over the few months they were together.

She jumped out of bed to join him in the kitchen as the snowfall got heavier. The second he was in arms reach, she wrapped her arms around him and tiptoed up to softly place kisses from his shoulderblades all the way up to his ear as he tipped his head back.

"Smells good," she whispered, glancing at the clock on his microwave that was turning 9:30. "But they need to hurry up because we have work in just over an hour and I need you to pop me round to my place because I was not prepared for this." Glancing at her clearly hungover yet still somewhat glowing complexion in the reflection of his glazed cupboard doors. He turned to look at her and held her face in his.

"You look beautiful as ever Erin Lindsay," he said as he kissed her forehead, "but whatever you wish. I'd really rather Voight didn't click on to be honest, he's going to give me enough stick for this." He pointed to the ever growing egg on his face. "I actually think he might have cracked a bone." She heard his voice trail off as she went to run the shower.

* * *

><p>The day at the office was long and quiet, the gale force winds causing a blizzard to stir outside, making the unit thankful that they were warm and toasty in the precinct rather than outside in a chase. Antonio had spent a while on the phone to Laura, organising how to spilt Ava and Diego for the holidays and Olinsksy had agreed with Meredith to spend his Christmas with herself and Alexa in the house as they were piecing together their marriage. Voight had locked himself away in his office and Atwater was travelling cross country with his sister to visit extended family leaving Ruzek awkwardly silent as he did not want to talk about how he wasn't exactly going to be spending it with Wendy. The silence was certainly made better by the looks she was getting off Jay every so often, taking her mind away from Christmas. Y'know, the ones that say 'hell I want you so bad right now' and 'God only knows how much I want to replay last night', each one make her feel all fuzzy and light inside, as well as awakening the fact that she had to figure out what she wanted to do next, in terms of Jay, Kelly and Voight, none of which she particularly wanted to face but she knew she needed to. She put her headphones in to try and combat her thoughts.<p>

Kelly wasn't such a problem, if he wasn't going to man up and apologise for his behaviour then she wasn't going to waste any more time on him. He had definitely shown his true colours and her night with Jay proved that she didn't feel much for him anyway. Her night with Jay also made her question what the hell was going to happen between last thing she wanted was to exercise control around him, not again. Eliza Doolittle conveniently sang "_I'm done with small doses, dipping my toes in,"_ in to her ear. It was true, she wanted to dive right in with Jay and never come back up for air after last night but she knew Voight wouldn't handle it well.

"You, lockers, now." She text him as she noticed the whole crew were at their desks.

She pressed herself up against her own locker, waiting for him to pop round the corner. The second he did, he took a glance around to ensure they were alone before rushing to press his lips against hers.

"Woah tiger," she laughed after kissing him a while, "I pulled you in here to ask what we're going to do." She intertwined her fingers with his.

"Well, you're always calling the shots."

"Well I want you Jay, I want you and us and everything we had last night, all of the time. I don't know what kept me so long but I wish we hadn't and it completely opened my eyes to a whole new definition of you as my partner." The words just powered out of her mouth like vomit, she couldn't stop to think, it was all just so automatic and natural, she couldn't slow down incase the moment passed. "I just don't know what we'd do about Hank and work and I don't want to mess everything u-" He stopped her in her tracks with another deep kiss, this time wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer towards him.

"Hey hey," he said as he pulled away, "we'll figure it all out, right now I'm focusing on being the happiest guy alive."

"Huh," came a low, gravelly voice from the doorway, causing Erin and Jay to spin around immediately to meet the killer gaze of Voight stood in the doorway.


	4. Narcotics, Boss

**A/N - Hey guys, just a heads up before anyone begins to notice, I'm British, so I apologise for any prior or upcoming mistakes when it comes to typically American things such as gun talk and sports teams because I am next to near oblivious, but I am trying. It also explains some difference in terms but I'm trying to be as authentic as possible here. Another note, just to say that I originally intended on this being a one shot, which is why Erin and Jay have jumped the gun pretty quick, I wouldn't have done that if this had started out as a proper fic. Thank-you such much for your continuous support, it means the world. I hope you enjoy! (Ps the next update will be a longer, Christmas chapter!)**

"Hank," managed to escape Erin's mouth quietly as she removed Jays arms from her waist and stepped away. Jay, on the other hand, couldn't move. It was almost as if he had turned to stone, just gazing at Voight.

"My office, now." He signaled at Jay, leaving Erin stood clueless in the lockers, until Ruzek came in, bumping Jay's shoulder as he followed Voight silently out of the locker room, head to the floor through the unit and into his office.

"What the hell is happening there? He looks like a child ready to be punished," Ruzek laughed as he popped his head round from his door, not knowing that that was exactly what was probably going to happen. Erin just shook her head at him, like 'just don't ask' and he retreated to his locker as she left.

Jay expected Voight to shout, to be angry that he had ignored him. He did not expect what happened next. Once they got to his office, Jay didn't need asking to shut the door. Being locked in Voight's office, alone was terrifying. It flooded back the memories of last time, having his piece and badge stripped. He hadn't received any backing from Voight then and he wasn't expecting it now. By the time he'd spun back around to face his boss, he was leaning against his desk casually holding his own hands on his lap.

"So," Voight started, taking a big breath in that sent chills down Jay's spine. Most of him didn't want to hear whatever was coming next. "I've heard multiple accounts of how you got that shiner." He motioned to Jays eye.

Voight had just caught him with Erin in the lockers and he was moving his attention to the incident at Mollies, Jay wasn't able to comprehend straight away, he just stared awkwardly at the painting of the Chicago skyline that was sitting on the wall behind Voight.

"Kelly Severide was out of order, and I'm glad that you were there to stand up for Erin. She goes on like she doesn't need it but she's just like the rest of us, and sometimes she does need her partner when she won't admit it." Hank was still looking at Jay, with somewhat warmth compared to the harsh, brass reaction Jay was bracing himself for. It made him feel a little more comfortable, allowing him to loosen up a bit. "You have her back Halstead, and I appreciate that. You've become one of the few people I would trust with her life." He stopped again and Jay knew there was a 'but' coming.

"However, that does not excuse the fact that you blatantly ignored what I had previously said and that is something that I don't appreciate," he claimed as his tone of voice changed drastically, placing emphasis on the don't. All Jay could do was hang his head, nodding.

"I'm going to say again, just to be crystal clear. This is my unit, my rules. While you're both up here, I won't tolerate whatever you two think you have going on here." The end of Hank's mini speech sounded pitiful, almost as if he had some sympathy for Jay, which made him feel like it was worth a shot to try and argue his ground.

"C'mon boss," he began to plead, desperation plaguing his voice. "If I'm one of the few you trust her with, why would you want anyone else with her? I am sorry for going against you, I really am but, I can't explain it," he sighed, taking a moment for air. "I just couldn't help it."

"That's exactly why Jay, you cover her back every day. We can't risk puppy love clouding your judgement or efficiency on the job to put either one of you in danger." Jay understood wholeheartedly, he wasn't going to bother explaining why it would be the complete opposite. He put his all into protecting Erin already but it would be so much more if they were together on the job. "I don't want to lose you Halstead, you're really becoming great police and you're an asset to the team, honestly. So you can stay, or I can transfer you, but Erin only comes with one of those options.

As gutted as Jay was, he didn't have to think twice. Intelligence was his family. They had molded him into an amazing detective, and allowed him to channel military skills like sniping into something he loved. They support him, most of the time, and helped him grow through difficult ops but after last night, and Erins episode at the lockers, there was no way he was going to pass this up. He thought of the electrical impulses that her touch sent through him while she pressed against his bare chest; the way her fingers played his body like a violin when she traced over his veins and the words just blurted out, out of his control.

"I'll take narcotics, boss," he looked up at Voight, "if that's possible? If not then intelligence in another district would be preferable."

Hank was shocked, he took a moment to take it in. Last time they had this conversation he had been speaking to a naive, infatuated boy obsessed over a pretty face. This time, he was facing a mature, adamant detective who knew what he wanted and he was kind of impressed. He reached out to shake Jay's hand firmly. "I'll see what I can do. You take care of her Halstead. You can stick together until you leave, there's no point switching up partners now."

"You know I will." And he walked out of his office just like that.

He had noticed it getting dark through Voight's windows but he hadn't expected every desk to be empty when he walked out but truth be told, he was quite glad that that was case. He reached for his keys off his desk without looking, but his hand met smooth, oak wood and paperwork. He wondered where the hell they'd gone for a second, but on a whim he walked out to the car park instead and found exactly what he had expected to.

He opened his passenger door, since Erin was unsurprisingly in the driver seat, hands on the gear stick as she was preparing to drive as soon as he got in the car.

"Well?" she asked, looking anxious as he placed his hand over hers. He slipped his fingers between hers before pulling her hand up to kiss it.

"I still only have one black eye," he joked, stifling a little laugh, warranting a smack in the arm from her. "In all seriousness, he's okay with it," he paused as she interrupted him with a sigh of relief, not expecting him to come in with an anticlimax. "But, I have to transfer."

He watched as the glimmer of hope washed out of her eyes, killing him a little inside.

"I've asked for narcotics, I'm not giving you up now Erin." He smiled at her, and her lips curled at the sides forming a little smile back but she couldn't bring herself to form a full one. Devastation flooded her body as she realised she wasn't going to have her partner at work, at the same time it was counteracted by the happiness that overwhelmed by the decision for her. She was such a mixed bag of emotions she couldn't even reply, she just drove as he continued to explain that Voight wasn't going to pull them apart just yet, he was going to wait until everything was finalised with his transfer, which made her just that little bit happier.

* * *

><p>Jay was able to tell that Erin was down about the fact he was switching units for her, but he knew she'd appreciate it in the long run even if she held it against Voight for a while. In the meantime, he was doing everything he could to try and cheer her up a little bit more, to rid the hint of upset in her voice that made his stomach sink. A quiet night in was on the cards, the first one they'd be able to do all the stuff they'd been dying to since day one. Simple things like have her lie in his lap or curl into his arms ran through his head as he carefully chopped mushrooms and peppers, preparing something special for her while she ran her shower.<p>

'_Hmm, shower,' _he thought, a little lightbulb went off in his mind. He ditched the veg on the worktop and rushed into his room. Erin was a weird one, she always left the bathroom door open when she showered, even when they weren't together. He stripped down in her bedroom, shuffling his clothes into a corner to avoid making a mess in her somewhat tidy apartment and waited for her to turn her back to the door as she mumbled her way through Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood.

The second he saw his chance, he opened the shower door and slipped in behind her. He could almost see her smile from behind as she felt his presence, running her hands through her hair but continuing to sing quietly, acting like she was oblivious to the idea she had company. She took a big breath in and braced herself for his touch causing the hairs on the back of her neck to spike up.

"_Touch my neck and I'll touch yours."_

He lightly ran the tip of his tongue from the base of her neck to the bottom of her ear before placing his hands on her soapy hips and slowly ran them up her body. The fell into all of her curves of her waist as they inched their way further north.

"_The goosebumps start to raise the minute that my left hand meets your waist._"

He took over the lyrics from her as he followed the shape of her body all the way up past her chest and her shoulder blades as he traced up her arms. She went to turn around and face him but he stopped her before she could.

"Nuh uh," he whispered in her ear, giving her shivers. He pulled her arms down from behind her head and placed them on the small of her back, cuffing her wrists with his hands and turning her towards the wall, allowing him to stand beneath the flow of water. He gently pressed her against the tiles, making her gasp loudly as her bare body was met with cold. The tiles were cold but her body felt like it was on fire when she realised he was holding her in an arrest position, it was kind of hot and made her tingle everywhere. She was out of reach from the falling water but Jay stepped closer to her, pressing himself against her so she was pushed into the wall a little harder and she could feel the shower trickle between them.

"Erin Lindsay, you, are under arrest," he sighed into her ear, a hint of dominance in his voice.

"Oh really, Detective?" She played along as she turned her head to face him in a desperate bid to make eye contact. "I'm not sure what I've done," she said innocently as he gently nipped the skin between her neck and shoulders with his teeth, making her gasp lightly, "but I'm sure I can make it up to you." Before she even finished her sentence,she tiptoed and stuck her ass out ever so slightly, causing her back to arch but more importantly to grind a little against his crotch. She felt him jump as he felt her against him, causing her to smile.

"Oh," he growled, painting a devilishly handsome smirk across his face as he let her go and spun her around. This time, her hands were free and he was towering above her, one arm resting on the wall. "What makes you think that, huh?"

The way he stood brooding over her made her feel something she'd never felt before, almost submissive. Whatever it was, it was turning her on crazy amounts and she didn't want it to end.

"This," she said, refusing to break eye contact as she placed her hands on his chest and started running them down his body, planting little sucks and kisses down the trail that her hands were leaving. Jay took a heavy breath in to prepare himself for the rest of their shower.

* * *

><p>"Well," he laughed as he wrapped a towel around her as she stepped out of the shower, "I never expected that to go as well as it did."<p>

"I never expected it at all so you definitely one-upped me," she fired back as they walked into the kitchen, leaving a dripping trail of water behind them. "You were even cooking dinner," she glanced over to the granite worktop, "I could get used to this Halstead."

**Closing A/N - I had the shower idea earlier today, but writing it was so difficult because I didn't want to go into loads of detail so I apologise if it's badly done, I hadn't a clue how to end it either. Let me know what you thought of Voight's reaction and what you think/want to happen!**


	5. To Jay!

**A/N – Okay guys, I'm so excited about this one. Christmas is my favourite thing ever so I was so happy I could write this. I got carried away (it's 9 pages on word haha) so I hope it doesn't bore you but I'm super proud of this. Please please let me know what you think and follow/favourite to keep up with updates, I always appreciate your feedback. I hope you all have an amazing holidays and a Merry Christmas, Enjoy!**

The Intelligence unit had been ticking over nicely the past few weeks running up to Christmas, as had Erin and Jay's relationship. Voight had been taking his time with Jays transfer to narcotics but no-one mentioned it. They were all devastated when they heard so they kept in mind that every op with him could be their last. Every bust seemed to go well, paperwork wasn't half bad and although the majority had plans; Laura had invited Antonio over to spend time with Ava and Diego, Olinsky was back on track with Meredith and Ruzek was meeting Kim's parents but everyone agreed to let Erin host a second dinner in the evening.

One of Erin's most well known quirks was her insane love for Christmas. She had Michael Bublé on repeat since the beginning of November, demonstrating her not-so-talented singing skills every waking moment. Tinsel was strewn over all of the filing cabinets and shelves and strapped along the desks. The unit played along, it was nice to put some festive cheer into the atmosphere to lighten the mood around the holidays.

Jay arrived first. He had spent the Eve at hers but she shooed him out so she could surprise him when he came back.

Halstead had always been very conservative about his family life but Erin had noticed something about him that was impossible for him to hide from her forever.

* * *

><p>"<em>So that was, nice," she smirked into Jay's chest, with her legs and arms draped over him, stealing most of the sheets too.<em>

"_Nice? What do you mean, nice?" he said, feigning insecurity about his performance._

_Erin didn't know how to say it out loud, she felt like an immature pre-teen again._

"_Well," she paused. "It's just I've never been with someone who is, uh…" she struggled._

_Jay clicked straight away, despite not being embarrassed about his heritage in the slightest, he almost didn't want her to finish. But, she went ahead and bit the bullet._

"_Cut. I've never been with someone who is cut okay." The end of her sentence trailed into a laugh as Jay pushed her out of his arms._

* * *

><p>He'd had no option but to let her in on his Jewish bloodline, not that he had any objection. He didn't mention his parents much but he spoke highly of his <em>zaide <em>- his grandfather. He told of all of the stories and struggles passed through the generations of the Berkovich family who had traveled all through Eastern Europe, ending up in America. He loved repeating the story of how his grandfather was morally indebted to his grandmothers family who had helped him cross the Atlantic and create a better life for himself, falling in love with her along the way and eventually having his mother, all accompanied with black and white, fraying photographs with odd dates scrawled across the back. Erin could only imagine that Jay's father didn't have any strong ties to the religion because Jay himself wasn't religious but he was raised in a half-religious household. His heritage was important to him because his mother was, so he held it dear.

Erin had done her research and found out that this year, Hannukah was falling over Christmas. She'd gotten Jay a few things for the holidays but she felt like this was the nicest thing to do for him, and he had agreed when it sunk in. He rapped at her door at 3pm, a few hours before the rest of the team were due. She opened it quickly, barely able to control her excitement, mostly over the fact it was Christmas but mostly over her surprise for Jay. As she opened the door, she was met by a rather handsome, rather tall man dressed in a very dapper skinny suit, complete with a fairisle print Christmas jumper with a low enough v-neck to flash the knot of his tie. Her eyes ran up his body before they met his, that were doing the exact same thing to her. He was taken away by the way her little black cocktail accentuated her curves, falling just above her knee. Her subtle rose gold smokey eye complimented the berry shade of lipstick that shaped her cupids bow perfectly. Her hair backcombed at the top, making its way into a sleek fishtail braid falling just past her shoulder.

Her apartment was mostly lit with fairy lights and candles, filling the air with mulled wine and cinnamon scents, with a little help from her kitchen spotlights. The open plan of her apartment allowed for all 3 to fill the room with low toned lighting. Her tree was stood in the corner, not too overdone but beautifully decorated with delicate snowflakes and traditional ornaments. His eyes followed the trail of lights from right to left all the way around the room as she grabbed his hand and pulled him in towards the centre of her apartment without saying a word, a wild grin reaching across her face. He soon clicked why when his eyes reached the left hand side of the room, falling on her solid oak table. It was beautifully decorated with gold and silver accessories, to match the general colour scheme of Christmas decorations running through her apartment; each member of the team had individual placemats and coasters, with silver centres and gold trimming, they were all placed with cards, their names in neat italic writing, placed in standing stars. A subtle, shimmery golden runner fell over the top ends of the table. Despite the beautiful aesthetic of the table, Jay's gaze was captured by the centre piece. He couldn't imagine where she'd gotten it or how but it was beautiful.

In the middle of the table was the most stunning, white-gold menorah Jay had seen. It was a lovely size, towering slightly over the empty wine and whiskey glasses that Erin had prepared. It was engraved with very intricate, very detailed patterns all the way from the base, spawning off in different directions, up all 9 branches. The 9 candles lit were the main source of light in the room. Erin hadn't let go of Jay's hand since he had stopped still at the sight of the menorah, his mouth gaping slightly. She tiptoed slightly to place his cheeks in the palm of her hands and kiss him on the tip of his nose to pull his attention back to her, and break the silence between the two.

"Do you like it?" She looked at him with a gleam in her eyes, he could see his reflection in them.

"Erin, I don't know what to say. It's amazing," he croaked, courtesy of an itch growing in his throat. It was a small gesture but it still hadn't registered how taken aback he was by the thought she must have put into it. He had never had the chance to celebrate both holidays together. It was just a passing conversation after their first night together but it must have stuck with her because it was weeks ago. His eyes kept darting between Erin's face and the glowing menorah.

"I was amazed by the way you shared it all with me y'know, I wanted to do something that would show it mattered to me. Because it matters to you."

He bent down slightly, wrapping his hands around the back of her neck to kiss her properly for the first time since he'd gotten there.

Voight, Dawson and Olinsky all turned up together, slightly under the influence and sporting incredible novelty jumpers over their suits, similar to Jay. Antonio was a Christmas pudding, Olinsky an elf and Voight, the man himself stood out in a Santa jumper, complete with both fake beard and hat, making both Erin and Jay laugh when he bound through the door with his 'ho ho ho's. No-one expected Voight to be the holiday type but Hank valued anything which gave him even more reason to show appreciation to his family - blood and work.

Erin's kitchen bench ended up looking like a bar before the whole team had arrived, she had bought a ton of beer in preparation but everyone had brought something different with them. Her aged bottle of mulled wine began the line of drinks, followed by spiced rum from Antonio, scotch and whiskey from Alvin, Bailey's Irish cream from Jay and gin from Hank. The abundance of alcohol meant the drinks were flowing rapidly whilst the team waited for Ruzek and Burgess to arrive as Atwater couldn't make it. They were all sat in Erin's living room, herself and Jay taking up the length of the sofa with Al in her armchair. It was surprisingly easy for them to be couple-y around Voight, he loved them together outside of work. It all felt natural and he treat Halstead like one of the family, coming a long way from his start at the unit nearer to his murder allegations. They were all cracking up as 'Last Christmas' by Wham! was filling Erin's apartment, with Antonio and Voight jokingly dancing with each, taking turns to mime the lyrics to each other. They were all around one drink away from crossing the tipsy to drunk line, which was being demonstrated clearly by Voight and Dawson.

"_Once bitten and twice shy, I keep my distance but you still catch my eye. Tell me baby, do you recognise me? Well, it's been a year it doesn't surprise me." _Voiced Antonio. His face flashed from seductive to the most dramatic, heart-broken look on his face in a matter of seconds, reaching his hands out towards Voight.

Hank waited a few lines before returning the gesture to Dawson so he could regain his composure.

"_Now I know what a fool I've been, but if you kiss me now I know you'll fool me again." _Hank mimed with a poker-face and puppy dog eyes, pulling Antonio in closer. Jay blessing the performance with the out of tune, backing vocals of 'oh oh, oh my baby's.

Just as the theatrics came to an end, Kim and Adam emerged through the door. Everyone stopped, their gazes fixed on Burgess. She was dressed in a sleek red jumpsuit, with a cigarette style pant that followed the shape of her leg all the way down. That, working with the way it nipped in at the waist and the risqué plunge neck stole everyone's attention, barely anyone noticed Adam following in her trail. Kim had her hair down, something that was rare for the team to see. She was wearing a centre parting, her hair pushed away from her face and behind her ears, bar from the two wisps that shaped her cheeks.

Adam and Kim had sharp realised after Atwater had been called up to the unit that their relationship wasn't worth hiding anymore. Working with Roman had given her a new outlook on life as a uniform and she was appreciating it more than she did when she was using it as a step ladder to work her way up. She did want to be upstairs, however she knew her time would come and it wasn't worth risking her relationship with her best friend and boyfriend when she was happy where she was. Adam was appreciative of it, and half hopeful that as he had seen how Erin and Jay had worked together, Voight may change his opinion on in-house romance.

"What did we miss?" Adam laughed, catching Antonio in Voight's arms.

"Damn, girl!" Said Erin ignoring him, eyeing her favourite uniform up and down as she passed her a glass of brandy. "Now that everyone is here, sit! It's time for food."

It was creeping up to 7:30 and everyone was hungry, made worse by the concoction of scents flowing through the kitchen that overran that from the candles. They were all drooling by the time Erin had served up, with a helping hand from Jay. They sat together on the left hand side of the table, opposite Kim and Adam who had Olinsky to his right with Antonio and Voight at the head and foot of the table. They tucked in immediately, all accompanied with a glass of their chosen drink.

"Erin," Voight started before swallowing his mouth full of mash, "this is incredible."

She flashed a smile as she tipped her wine glass to the side, "what can I say Hank? I learnt from the best." Voight smiled to himself, focusing his sight back on his food, knowing she was referring to Camille. They both got their love for the holiday from her, but Hank couldn't help feeling a little punch to the stomach as thoughts of previous holidays with her flashed through his memory.

The team didn't get much time to talk about themselves to each other, drinks at Mollies were usually geared towards the most recent game, or positives from the days work but Christmas dinner was different. They ate and they drank, pulled crackers and the atmosphere was light and jolly, the meal full of story exchanges, giving everyone a new taste into everyone's back stories. Antonio spoke of his family back in the Dominican Republic and how his parents, himself and Gabby ended up in the states. Halstead and Olinsky reminisced about similar stories they shared from being deployed in Italy and Afghanistan, Olinsky recognising how efficiently Jay put his special ops skills into use. Burgess let them in on life as an air hostess before she came to the academy, much to Jay and Adams liking which ended up with Voight spilling embarrassing stories about Erin on the plane to New York when she was a teenager.

Once they had emptied their plates, they pushed them back and allowed time for their stomachs to settle while they exchanged Secret Santa gifts. They knew it was cliché, but they loved it. First, Jay handed his gift over to Voight. He'd thought long and hard about what to get him, the last thing he wanted to do was fall below par at Christmas. He needed something that was personal but wasn't too much and he didn't want Erin's help, as much as she wanted to give it. It was awkward to wrap, so instead it was placed in a simple black box tied with thick red ribbon. Jay kept his gaze on Voight, nervously awaiting approval as he opened the box to reveal a chestnut leather hip holster, shaped perfectly to fit Voight's favourite handgun which he kept by his side pretty much permanently. Everyone watched as a smile spread across his face as his thumb brushed the corner that was engraved with "Sgt. H Voight".

"Thank-you Jay, I love it," he said. His gravelly voice was ridden with appreciation. Jay took a deep sigh in and smiled back, thankful that he liked it.

"My pleasure, boss." He finished as Erin put a hand on his leg and whispered to him.

"You did well, Halstead."

Next was Voight to Kim. This time the box that was passed across the table was slightly larger than the one Jay had given to Hank.

"I wanted you to remember kid, even if you aren't upstairs, you're still one of us. You're part of the family now." He watched intently as she opened the box. Lay on the top of silver starred tissue was a neatly folded leopard print tube top, lined with studs over the bust. She smiled as she was faced with a souvenir of her first undercover mission with Intelligence. Voight laughed as he signalled her to dig deeper into the box. She stopped rifling through the tissue when her hand hit metal plating. She lifted it out of the box to show everyone at the table a frame that was holding a group photo of the team on a night out after that bust, which happened to be one of her favourite photographs. Underneath was a card that read,

"_You beat yourself up when you can't solve a case Burgess, too much. You're good police, great police in fact. You're working your way up and you know it,_

_ - Hank"_

Everyone smiled when they saw the photo. There were plenty of them around but this was the only one where Voight had joined them to Mollies, no-one noticed her smiling at the card as she dipped it into her clutch before giving a gentle nod to Voight.

"Yes Sir," she replied, full to the brim with happiness knowing she was going places and going about it the right way now.

Kim was super excited to give her present to Erin, she knew she would love it. It was different, something non-work related. Erin was eager to see what it was, she could barely sit still. After all, Kim had been teasing her about it for weeks. They went Christmas shopping at the beginning of December and Burgess had remembered Lindsay having to restrain herself from buying the most black, fitted, All Saints leather jacket, so naturally she bought it for her.

The boxes were piling up on the floor by the table as Erin lifted it by the shoulder pads out of the beautifully wrapped box, gasping inwards.

"Kim!"

"Hey, I love you and all but you need it, you love that red one but you can tell it's loved, you need to protect it a little more now." Burgess laughed.

She quickly tried it on, she loved the way it fit snug around her arms and chest, before taking it off again.

"Thank-you so much." She smiled.

Erin then shot her looks towards Olinsky. "I got you, Al." She watched as he smiled.

It wasn't most obvious to the team that Erin and Alvin were close, but for as long as he'd been in a working relationship with Voight, they had bonded whenever she had joined them for morning coffee as she was straightening out. There relationship was one that grew stronger as she developed into great police and she owed a lot of that to Alvin, she had learnt a lot from him. Her present was quite heavy, wrapped in smooth plaid paper, with a silver ribbon on the top, which Olinsky gently removed before tearing the paper from corner to corner.

"I had Meredith and Lexi do a little hunting for me, they said you had them boxed up somewhere but damn it Alvin, you should want the world to see them."

By 'them', she was referring to the badges he had earned from the start of his military career, through his station in Vicenza as part of the Airborne Infantry up until now in Intelligence. The badges that were now all lined up in order in which he received them in a shallow glass case that was rimmed with mahogany wood. Each one had the name of the badge/reason he had received it and the year on a gold plaque beneath them.

"This is," he paused unable to think of a way to describe it, "Erin this means a hell of a lot." She nodded to him, acknowledging his appreciation.

They stopped for a second just to top up their glasses, God knows you can't be caught with an empty glass on Christmas Day.

Alvin turned and placed a bag towards Ruzek. "This is so you stop complaining about the district ones." He sounded harsh but Adam knew there was a hint of sarcasm in his voice. He took no time in pulling the paper out from the top to pull out a Steiner P1050 Binocular box. Adam had been raving about them to Olinsky nearly every time the went on a long stakeout, bragging about the specs on them and how district binoculars hurt his eyes, which Alvin often rolled his eyes to.

"Damn Al, you're gonna be the one complaining about district binoculars after you try these honestly! I might even let you use them," Ruzek winked to his partner, gratitude showing in his laugh.

Second to last was Ruzek to Antonio. Adam had struggled crazy amounts to think of what to get for his fellow detective, but he'd had a lightbulb moment when they were in the gym some time back. Antonio pulled a box out of his bag to reveal that Adam had bought him a new pair of boxing gloves that he'd mentioned about when Ruzek pointed that his had a hole in them.

"Thanks man," he smiled, nudging Ruzek with a bump to the arm. Last but not least was Antonio to Jay. Antonio was the whole reason that Jay was in intelligence to begin with and he was gutted to see he'd be losing his protegée to narcotics as soon as the transfer was to come through. He was proud of Halstead, he was good police when he was taken under Dawsons wing but he'd grown so much, he was brilliant at his job and an asset to the team.

"I'm going to miss you Halstead, I'm proud of you," he said, trying to prevent his hand from shaking as he passed a medium, square box to Jay.

"I'm going to another unit, not another country c'mon Antonio-" he stopped as he lifted the lid from the box to reveal a battered and scratched ice hockey puck. The same ice hockey puck that he and Dawson had nearly fist fought over after an incredible Blackhawks game, but Jay succumbed and let Antonio have it in the end, after he played the "Diego would love it" card, he couldn't not let him have it. It had the Blackhawks logo printed front and back. Underneath it was a Blackhawks jersey, signed from the team on the back too.

Jay looked at the table before glancing back to Dawson and shaking his hand. "It's all because of you man. Now look at us, downer or what!" He joked.

Voight interrupted, "he's right Halstead, the team will be at a loss without you. A toast, to Jay," he called out, raising his glass.

Jay's cheeks flushed magenta and his eyes glazed over as the rest of the team chinked their glasses in unison. "To Jay!"

"And Merry Christmas," Jay bellowed in response, in a desperate attempt to pull the attention away from him. Everyone smiled and chugged the last of what was in their glasses.

* * *

><p>The night drew on and one by one the team vacated Erin's apartment with their things, everyone complimenting her hostess and culinary skills as they were all leaving happy and well fed.<p>

Voight and O spent a little extra time with Erin and Jay, watching generic Christmas tv at midnight as they settled before they left. It gave Hank time to mull over what he'd seen between Erin and Jay throughout the evening. Yes, he knew what they were like at work. They were great detectives, appropriate partners and got the job done, however tonight Hank got to see a different side of them.

He observed as Jay placed his hand over Erins and rubbed her thumb soothingly, causing her eyes to flutter slightly; he watched as Jay took Erin's plate from the table for her, asked whenever she needed a refill and what she would like, pushed her chair in for her at the dinner table. He saw as Jay's face lit up when Erin's did in reaction to her present, and when Erin did the same for Jay. The noticed the way he'd hold the small of her back to make her feel closer to him when they spoke, and the look in his eyes when she looked up to him. They got up and said goodbye to Jay and Erin at the doorway.

"My office tomorrow morning please, Jay," Voight asked as he shook his hand on the way out.

"Yes, sir." He responded. Usually he'd question it but he was fairly intoxicated and drowsy so he left it as he watched his boss walk down the corridor and whisper something to Alvin.

"I need your opinion on something Al."

* * *

><p>Erin kicked off her heels into a corner of the room and headed towards the table to clear up.<p>

"I don't think so, Erin." Jay stopped her in her tracks. "You've done so much for everyone, especially me today. Sit yourself down, I'll sort this out." She attempted to object, but he shut her down, so she wandered to the sofa and threw herself down. She had to admit it felt good, as much as she loved entertaining, to sit down in an empty apartment. She switched the TV off and put the Christmas mix that Jay had made on, a perfect ending to the night in her opinion. Jay made his way back and forth from the table to the kitchen with the glasses and present rubbish when he heard his favourite familiar Christmas song start - The Fairytale of New York.

"_It was Christmas eve, babe, in the drunk tank an old man said to me 'won't see another one', then he sang a song - the rare 'Old Mountain Dew'. I turned my face away and dreamed about you. Got on a lucky one, came in eighteen to one. I've got a feeling this years for me and you."_

He watched as confusion ran across Erin's face, making him laugh.

"It's a British one," he started to explain before she asked, "huge over there. An Irish band called The Pogues. It was a favourite in our team when I was deployed." He offered a hand to her as it started to kick in properly.

"_They got cars big as bars, they got rivers of gold. But the wind blows right through you, it's no place for the old. When he first took my hand on a cold Christmas Eve, you promised me Broadway was waiting for me"_

She took his invitation gladly, pulling her up and into his arms, allowing him to wrap his arm around her waist while she placed her hand on his shoulder. He sang in time with the next line, not breaking eye contact with her, the corners of his lips curling upwards.

"_You were handsome, you were pretty, Queen of New York city. When the band finished playing they howled out for more. Sinatra was swinging, all the drunks, they were singing. And we kissed on a corner then danced through the night."_

His smile turned into a full on grin as he extended his arm and let her spin around before pulling her back into him, tighter than before. That's what they did, they danced through the rest of the song, Erin stifling a laugh when the tune changed to _"you're a bum, you're a punk, you're an old slut on junk."_

"Oh." She said, glancing at him funny the song spent a chorus or two cursing each other before he started to sing again.

"_I could have been someone. Well, so could anyone, you took my dreams from me when I first found you. I kept them with me, babe I put them with my own, can't make it all alone I built my dreams around you"_

They carried on slowly moving around her living room until the song ended.

"I really do love that song," he repeated, kissing her on the forehead as she nodded in agreement, "Merry Christmas Erin," he smiled before letting her go, wandering into her room before he fell asleep on the spot.

"Merry Christmas, Jay."


	6. I Really Need You

**A/N: Sorry for the long update guys! I was struggling with where to take the story and I've now developed an amazing plot line that I cannot wait to share with you. I'm excited to hear your theories on where it's gonna go so please do review and let me know what you think. I'm working on multiple projects at the moment so keep an eye out for those too. Also, canon Linstead has given me so much motivation so I'm hoping to update quick, enjoy!**

The morning after Christmas was nothing less than expected up in Intelligence. The room was full of tired, hungover detectives who could think of a million places they'd want to be, the smell of alcohol lingering in the air. Alvin's beanie was engulfing his whole head while Adam had his feet up on his desk with his head slung over the back of his chair. Dawson was late and Jay had his head buried in his arms, two empty coffee cups littering his desk already while Erin made her own.

"Black, two shots," Jay's muffled voice shouted into the break room. She laughed in response, smug over the fact she felt fresh as a daisy when everyone else looked like the walking dead. She skipped out and placed the cup down, ruffling his messy hair with her free hand as Voight walked in. Jay didn't even flinch at the presence of his boss, forgetting entirely that he had been summoned the day before, until Hank beckoned him again with a little nudge of his desk.

Hank nodded to the door as Jay stumbled into his office, the harsh morning light burning his eyes when he turned back from closing the door. When the reality of the situation kicked in, his hangover was soon replaced with trepidation and a bit of anxiety, as he knew that this was more than likely going to be about his transfer. He fell into the chair facing his boss and waited to hear his gravelly voice telling him his transfer date.

"So," Hank began, throwing a heavy, manilla file across the desk to Jay, "I'm going to cut to the chase. It's not gone unnoticed that your transfer has taken a while, and it's because I needed to go over it with Al before I came to you about it."

Jay's signature raised eyebrow crept across his face as he opened the file. Confusion began to fill him as he found himself looking at his records from the 3rd Battalion in the 7th Ranger Regiment, write ups of missions, pictures in action, everything He glanced at Voight, his eyes begging for clarification.

"As soon as I posted the papers for your transfer, you were flagged up..." Halstead grew more and more curious about what Voight was talking about, "...by the Federal Bureau. They've had their eye on you for quite some time apparently, back when you were in Afghanistan, but there was nothing they could do once you signed on to the Academy, once we called you up they were right back on to you."

"Sorry Sarge, I don't quite understand?" He questioned his boss, although he had a pretty good idea what he was talking about.

"Am I right in thinking you and your men were heavily involved in counter-terrorism?" Voight asked, ignoring what Jay had said. He nodded in response.

"And hostage situations? One in particular that might have caught their interest?"

There was, but he didn't want to remember it. It was one of his last missions, heavy on recon and emotionally straining to say the least. To be specific it was the reason he was no longer a Ranger, and he never thought it'd be brought up again.

"Maybe."

"Well, you wanted Narcotics and now the FBI want you. Between the Rangers and your work with Intelligence, they're recruiting you heavy Halstead. This is a big opportunity."

He didn't reply initially, he just slid deeper into the chair hoping it would swallow him whole. The hostage situation had been replaying in his head since it was mentioned. He was a key player in the mission, but he never thought he'd been recognised for it, never mind by the Feds. This was a huge deal.

"Halstead?" Voight said, his voice laced urgency and concern.

"Yes boss, I know. Why did you wait so long to tell me?"

"Because, I didn't post your transfer right away. I was waiting to see what you and Erin were like working together before making any rash decisions about losing you, and when I did I wanted to keep your options open. That's why I asked Alvin's opinion. This is big for you, but it concerns the two of you."

"What are you trying to say Sarge?"

"I'm saying I was going to ask you to stay in Intelligence. I underestimated how well your and Erin would work together as a couple, and it was something I was willing to look over if you could keep it up, but this, I had to let you know. Think about it? I'll pass on the information to you so you can delve in deeper." Voight finished. He'd been stood tall the entire conversation, looking almost proud of Jay and the opportunity that had arisen for him. He nodded to the detective, who had walked into his office heavy with the burden of a hangover, and was leaving with the burden of something bigger.

The rest of the day was quiet for the team and for once they weren't complaining. It allowed them to drown out their hangovers with fresh coffee and talk about the previous night, although Jay remained reserved. Bar a phone call or two he had never contributed to the bustling conversation within the unit, and volunteered to remain on desk duty while the rest of the team got called out to assist Firehouse 51 in an arson call towards the end of the day. He'd been mulling over the thoughts of the Feds and the hostage situation for around two hours, waiting on the person he knew he could rely on with this.

_James Callaghan was Jay's closest friend though his entire time in the 3rd Ranger Battalion. Jay and James had been through hell and high water in their regiment, every recon, every mission and every holiday were spent together - Hanukkah, Christmas, St Paddy's day. Jay had numerous memories of James prancing around the bunk screaming limericks one day a year, his dark brown hair flopping over his face while he carried his Irish flag behind him. They were bunked together on their first day in Fort Benning, and bonded over Jay-Z and childhood experiences. They opened doors for each other, James introduced Halstead to the wonders of rugby; trying to catch World Cup coverage over the radios when they could, and in return Jay took him to all the finest Chicago restaurants when they went on leave, to revel in the beauty of a real deep dish pizza._

_The one time they hadn't been given the same leave, Jay was back in Illinois when James was declared missing in action and had called it on himself to fly back out to help look for him. It was the middle of a dry summer in Afghanistan, one that he'd never forget; he could still feel the sun burning through his gear, sweat trickling down his brow, the dust sticking to the back of his throat, the weight of his snipers on his shoulders. Soon after Jay had arrived back to the garrison to lead the search, he could tell something was being kept from him from the apprehension in the atmosphere. It took him a while to find that the battalion had started receiving pictures of James and two other rangers from the 75th, tied in a dark, dingy and dusty room shortly after the MIA declaration. Time went on and the longer it took to find them, the worse the photos got - first, it went from three of them to two, which caused an immediate increase of gravity towards the situation. Next, James and the second hostage were pictured shirtless, whipped and cut and bruised and burnt. The more photos they received, the angrier Jay got and soon that anger was what fuelled the search. The mission to retrieve both hostages was one of the most draining that the Battalion had been on so far, physically and emotionally. The men were all taking it hard, working night and day and the time they gave themselves to sleep were spent staring at the ceiling, or screaming out in their slumbers. Despite gaining a lot of intel on other operations they were able to take down while trying to track the missing Rangers, they struggled with their main goal. It took about two weeks to gain a location on the hostages. The rescue mission ended up taking out the leaders of a rising extremist group who were using the Ranger Regiment as a way to get through to the US Government. By the time they got there, they were able to get James out barely alive; however the other hostage hadn't been so lucky. He had been tied to James' back since the second photo; god only knew how long he'd been gone. James' thick Irish accent, originating in Connacht rang loud in his ears when he thought of the way he called out "Jay"._

His trip down memory lane was interrupted by Platt's monotone voice filling the empty room.

"Halstead, there's someone downstairs for you." She made her way back down the stairs before Jay could even nod in response.

He pounced down the stairs to be greeted by an all too familiar blonde. The way her wavy hair fell on her face accentuated all of her finest features. Her piercing green eyes widened at the sight of the detective, willing her arms to open the second he came close enough.

"Jay!" She sighed into his ear when they embraced and he lifted her slightly. It seemed like they were hugging forever until he finally placed her tiny body on the floor again.

"It's so good to see you Eden. You look amazing," he smiled as coral shades of pink began to spread across her cheekbones. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder to take her into the interview room before she could respond.

The rest of the team had walked back into the precinct as he took her in, but he was too caught up in his new company to notice

"So where's my favourite girl then?" he asked Eden with excitement as Erin walked past the door, initiating a furrowed brow and a large sigh before she stormed away.

He pretended not to be able to see the little girl under the table but as soon as he called out "Penny," a small, dirty blonde head peaked above the table at the sound of his eager voice, shortly followed by chubby, rosy cheeks and a barely toothy smile.

"I hope you mean second favourite," Eden joked, light-heartedly as the little girl rushed into Jay's arms.

"Hell, no way! No-one could beat this little one," he replied as he knelt down to allow the toddler to latch onto him. He picked her up and spun around, before lifting her above his head. "Did you get taller?" he asked as she giggled and shook her head. "Did you get prettier?"

"She sure damn did," Eden responded, pride filling her voice. "You should have seen her at ballet the other day, she looked like a princess."

"Princess Penny, huh? Sure sounds like my girl," he smiled again, this time placing her on the floor and turning to Eden as she ran back off to her backpack.

"Hey Eden, thank-you for coming, I really need you right now." He looked her in the eye as she ran a hand down his shoulder. "I get off work in about an hour, here are my keys and I'll text you my address. Penny's blanket is in the drawer with my Heckler from last time, I'll meet you there?" She watched as the desperation filled his eyes and voice grew croaky.

"Of course, we'll wait for you there," she said warmly as she hugged him again before beckoning Penny towards the door.

"Again Eden, thank-you." He mumbled as he watched her curls bounce against her back on the way out of the precinct.

**Closing A/N: Short and sweet here, what did you guys think about that? I always thought Jay was more suited to a task force because of his experience than Erin so I'm excited to play around with it, you'll see more soon! **


	7. Detective P

**A/N: Very quick update because I'm so excited to continue with this plot line, and I wanted to update before Wednesday. Hope this fills the void between now and then! Don't forget to let me know what you think.**

Eden woke the next day in Jay's apartment to the warm aroma of fried bacon and french toast - her favourite. Herself and Jay had become reacquainted over few too many glasses of rum last night and hadn't exactly gotten round to why she was here but her head felt delicate. She rubbed her eyes, trying to get them to adjust to the harsh winter light that was brushing over the Chicagoan skyline, then grabbed a hoodie and slipped into the kitchen to follow the scent of breakfast. A smile brushed across her face from ear to ear when she saw her baby's curls bobbing up and down as she was rested on Jay's hip while he cooked breakfast. The way Penny's skin tone blended in with that of Jay's filled her with warmth, even more so as she saw her mimicking his movements with her own mini spatula, as if she was also flipping the bacon.

"She missed you know," Eden murmured, trying not to startle the man who was holding her baby over a sizzling pan, wondering how his skin was resistant to the splashing oil. He spun around at the sound of her voice, holding Penny tight to his bare chest. "She's been asking after you a lot lately."

"I missed her too, I did," he nodded to the toddler that was grasping at his bicep, planting a kiss on her forehead. "And I missed you too Eden, how have you been?" He asked as he motioned her to the dining table, walking across with breakfast in hand, little red marks plastered over his chest where Penny had hit him a little with her spatula.

"I think it's you who should be answering that question, don'tcha think?" She raised an eyebrow as she finished her first mouthful of bacon, watching him feed her baby girl from his plate.

"C'mon Edie, can I not just summon my ladies because I wanna? It's been too long!" his words caused her to raise her eyebrow a little more and shake her head.

"Not when you call me Edie."

"Caught red handed," he chuckled, feeding himself this time, "but it can wait, I'm enjoying having you around."

"In your own time I guess," she began before she was interrupted by Penny clapping her little hands together, demanding more food from Jay. "What do we do until you crack then?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," he started as Penny hopped off his lap and waddled into his bedroom, "you be careful girl," he shouted in after her, flashing a grin to radiant blonde.

* * *

><p>The day went on and Jay was enjoying the time with Penny and Eden, it allowed him to ignore the decision he had to make, the real reason he called her here. After a long day in Grant Park, the sun was setting so on the way home Jay decided it was time for Eden to meet the team. They were walking on their way up the paved path towards the precinct, dodging all the cracks in order to humor Penny, giggles escaping her mouth whenever they jumped to avoid one, Jays dress uniform hat falling further down her head. They hadn't been able to get it off of her since she found it in the bottom of his closet. As they got to the top of the frosted path, Eden questioned where they were going.<p>

"I'm taking you into the bullpen, it's about time you were introduced. And Detective P will have so much fun." He tapped the hat down to cover her face as he pranced up the steps, Eden following closely behind.

They walked into the unit, luckily, right at the end of a callout. Voight was closing up the case on the board when their heads popped up the stairs.

"Well, woah," Ruzek gasped once Eden was in full view of the unit before Jay even had a chance to introduce her. She wore her hair in a side fishtail plait this time, a buttoned blouse, black skinny jeans and boots with a chunky 4-inch heel which still only brought her to Jay's shoulder.

"Watch it Ruzek, I can take you." Jay warned sternly as he placed his free hand on her shoulder while she looked timidly at the floor, occasionally glancing up to the intimidating strangers that surrounded her. Jay's defensive reaction gained nothing but blank stares from Lindsay, who was less than impressed that he hadn't let her know he was coming by.

"Something you haven't been telling us 'ey Halstead, take a day off then walk in with that beauty and a baby, quick development huh?" Adam joked to try and raise Jay's spirits after his not-so-tasteful joke.

Jay just brushed Adam off this time, noticing that Erin hadn't so much as looked at him since he arrived; she just carried on shuffling papers and glaring at her screen.

"Everyone, this is Eden. We go way way back," he smiled as he pulled her in closer, "and this? This is Princess P, or Detective Penny for today," the chubby toddler buried herself into Jays shoulder feigning shyness before jumping up and waving at everyone. "I thought we'd pop in and say hi before we shoot, I wanted to show them around them around as they aren't in town often."

Everyone said hi and welcomed Eden and Penny to the unit, although Jay had to drag Penny away from Antonio to show them around, he was a sucker for little ones. He hadn't gotten a chance to talk to Erin who seemed reserved in their presence, but he thought he best leave it until they could talk properly. Instead, he showed P the magic of the mirror in the interrogation room, watching her run back and forth between rooms, wondering where her reflection went when she could see Jay and momma in its place

Jay and Eden got back to talking about everything other than what they were supposed to be. The day had been too nice to ruin it now, he told himself.

"C'mon Eden, why won't you move back to Chicago. You'll never love Madison as much as you love home." He nagged at her a little as he watched Penny's feet speed in and out of the door, her little fingers grabbing the flaking frame for balance whenever she turned the corner.

"You know I can't Jay," her soft voice moaned in retaliation as Erin walked past the door. Overhearing the tone in Eden's voice, she stopped behind the wall.

"Why not? There's nothing keeping you there, you have a reason to be back here." The desperation in his voice was growing, causing a pit to grow in Erin's stomach.

"Like what? Constant reminders of the pain and the guilt that I'm still not entirely over? Why would I want to come back to that?" She began to sound pissed, her voice going from blunt to sharp in 0 to 60.

"How about for Penny? I'm her father-" his mini-speech was interrupted by squeals of Penny slipping around the corner, although she sharp got back up much to their relief. "-Having me around after everything can't be bad for her!" He continued after making sure she was alright.

Erin's heart sank through the floor at a million miles an hour. She was positive that her skin had gone the pasty colour of the wall she was staring at and unable to hold still after what she'd just overheard, her feet took off, leading her outside to take in the brisk, winter air to try and comprehend what she'd just heard.

**Closing A/N: So, did you like it? Let me know in a review and just beware – not all is as it seems.**


	8. I Trust You

**A/N: Bit of a midchapter thing just to introduce James a little better, and to clear some things up. It was a little rushed but I'm getting into the throws of writing the main plot so you should see a lot more, frequent and detailed chapters soon. Enjoy!**

Erin slumped further into her sofa with every sip of tea she took, hoping it would swallow her entirely. Her fireplace flickered warm tones throughout her dimly lit apartment as she curled her fingertips into her jumper sleeves as Ben Howard drowned out her thoughts with "Old Pine". She and Jay had just gotten on to something; she never expected to be this devastated by his behaviour so early on. He was already locking her out of his life like he hadn't already said he wanted to share it with her and it was eating her up inside. She'd left the precinct in a fit of rage from what she had heard, and now she was wallowing alone in her apartment. She kept telling herself that what she heard meant nothing, but she wasn't doing a great job of convincing herself.

She placed her mug down on the table as she heard three light raps at her door, before slowly pacing over. "_It means nothing until he confirms it," _she reminded herself, but as soon as she opened the door to him, it spat out of her mouth like a ball of fire.

"Erin, I'm so so-" Jay began with the softest voice, not being able to let go of the fact he'd neglected her all day.

"Father? FUCKING FATHER?" She interrupted him mid-sentence, the built up rage venting the second it had the chance.

"Woah, woah Er, calm down," he begged in a bid to calm her down, placing his hands on her shoulders. She automatically shifted away at the touch of his hand.

"CALM DOWN? Are you for real Jay?" she shouted; steam almost erupting from her ears.

"Please Erin, its not-"

"Don't tell me it's not what it looks like," she retaliated before he finished, again.

"It's not!" This time he raised his voice in return. "What the hell are you on about, father?"

"How about Penny, I'm her father," she mimicked what she overheard, slightly childishly.

"Oh, oooh," he smirked, and then he laughed. She threw him blank stares, demanding an explanation. "Hear me out Erin?"

She frowned and crossed her arms.

"Please? I need you to hear me out." He pleaded.

"Fine." She rolled her eyes and headed back to the sofa, expecting him to follow.

She sat; legs crossed facing him while he threw his legs up on the coffee table, preparing to overindulge on something Erin was otherwise clueless about.

"Back in the rangers, my first ever day at Fort Benning, I got bunked with this guy. His name was James Callaghan." He started, smiling at the name.

"What has that got to do with anything?" She asked, already growing frustrated.

"Sshh and let me continue."

_Jay was busy unpacking his bowler bag in his empty bunk when out of his peripheral vision he noticed a shadow blocking the doorway._

"_Callaghan. James. " He said abruptly, his strong Irish accent filling the barren room, causing Jay to spin around quickly._

"_Jay Halstead," he replied, reaching out a hand to the man who stood in front of him. He was around 6'3 and looked a good kind dishevelled. His chiseled jawline was slightly hidden by a little bit of facial hair, but was still distinct. Although the shadow cast by his broad shoulders could be intimidating, his blue eyes and his accent were inviting._

"_Looks like you're stuck with me, lucky you," he chuckled, accepting Jay's hand firmly. "I'm not too bad mind"_

"_Makes one of us," Jay replied, curiosity ringing in his voice, "so wheres the accent from?"_

"_Balinteer, Dublin, and yourself?"_

"_Chicago."_

"_Oh, this is going to be fun, we're going to get along just fine we are." James laughed to himself while unpacking his Irish rugby jersey. Jay smiled at the comment. He'd heard so many bad stories about men who bunked together and was glad to think he wouldn't be one of them._

"He had to be one of the most extraordinary men I've ever come across Erin, I've never been so close to him. He introduced me to St Paddy's day and rugby, I took him to Hawks games on leave. He was family." Erin stared at him intently as he told her all about James, his eyes full of a mixture of awe and sadness.

"_THERE ONCE WAS A MID-MARCH DAY," bellowed through the bunker at 7am. "WHEN PEOPLE WOULD GATHER AND SAY, ST PATRICKS DAY IS HERE LET'S WEAR GREEN AND DRINK BEER AND THEY'D PARTY THE EVENING AWAY."_

"_Yo Callaghan, shut up!" shouted Jay from his bed. `_

"_But it's Paddy's day!" James argued. "Best day of the year."_

"_If you say so," he mumbled with his face buried in his pillow._

"_You'll love it if we're going to be friends pal."_

"And I did. It became a tradition. We even went to Dublin for it once, one of the best weekends of my life Erin, I'll have to take you sometime."

"Mhmm," she mumbled in agreement.

"Anyway, my last year as a Ranger, I was on leave. I got a call saying he'd been MIA for a week. I went back out to look for him. I'll spare you the details, but it took a while. He was the only one of three who made it out. Bruised, battered, tortured." Jay was speaking in fragments now, the awe had left his eyes. And when Erin noticed he was speaking in past tense, she clicked.

"He sank into PTSD real quick, so I left with him. I let him down once, I left him and it happened, I wasn't gonna leave with him again. I couldn't let Eden carry the burden alone."

Her face dropped. She never expected a link between them, and although she was relieved at the fact, he heart was also breaking with what he was letting her in to.

"She's his wife, was his wife." He paused and looked down to compose himself before continuing.

"He um, he was fine at first, it was expected, but things got progressively worse. He wouldn't get up, he wouldn't shave. He wouldn't see anyone. I had to open his blinds for him."

He inhaled, he exhaled. Nothing could stop his voice from quivering.

"Eden was 3 month pregnant."

_10 am and Jay walked into James' room to try and get him up for the day, something he knew was useless. He perched himself on the end of the bed to wake him gently._

"_Hey buddy," he started, his voice quiet. "I thought we could go grab some food today?"_

"_Promise to look after them for me," James croaked back, confusing Jay._

"_What do you mean?" He asked, again quietly._

"_Eden and my baby. I need you to look after them for me."_

"_You know I will. We both will man."_

"_I want you to be godfather. I trust you." Jay was confused more than ever at James' responses. It was so out of the blue, he couldn't comprehend it, but he played along._

"_James, I-" he began before James spoken again._

"_Can you get me a glass of water?" he asked, his voice still croaking._

"_Sure, I'll be two minutes."_

"So I did, I got him his water and I left him alone because again, my attempts were useless. And when I went back a few hours later he was gone. He wouldn't wake up. I left him again but this time he didn't come back." His voice was empty, monotone.

"Jay," his name escaped her mouth gingerly, her hand reaching out for his. This entire time she'd been watching him talk, he'd been staring at the fireplace but this time he turned to look at her.

"I stayed. I moved in with Eden, I helped raise Penny until she was just older than a year. They moved to Madison after I finished at the academy. I'm her godfather and that little girl; she's the closest thing I have to family, Eden too. I'd protect them with my life, I promised him." His voice became gravelly; like he was doing everything he could to stop himself from crying. "I'm sorry Erin, I didn't mean to disregard you just them being back, I'm not used to it y'know."

"Jay it's fine, I didn't mean to jump the gun. I'm sorry," she nearly whispered this time, pausing every few words. She grasped his hand tight with both of hers and placing it on her legs.

"You're the first person I've ever told that to," he wrapped his free arm around her, pulling her into his chest and allowing his chin to sit on the top of her head. "Like I said, not what you think, huh?" Jay stifled a little laugh to try and lighten the atmosphere before pulling their linked hands to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

**Closing A/N: So? I need to know what you thought about where this chapter went, like really need to know so don't hesitate to tell me how much you hate what I did to James, or if you love where the story is headed. See you soon!**


	9. 2-0

**A/N: But of a building block chapter but I hope you love reading it as much as I loved writing it. New Year is one of my favourite nights so I had fun with this. Very Linstead central, I thought they deserved it after the past few. Let me know what you think!**

Although Erin preferred a casual, comfortable look during the day, that girl could look damn fine when it came to going out. Jay was sat on the sofa in his apartment waiting for her to finish getting ready for the black tie New Year party hosted for the CFD and CPD. Jay had always been a NYE fan, it had always been one of his favourite nights of the year. The faint, early fireworks he could hear from across the city made him a little excited for the night ahead. Scotch in hand, he prepared for her to step out once End of Time by Beyoncé stopped playing. He cocked his eyebrow as he had to double take when he saw her emerging from his bedroom. The glimpse of red was what caught his eye, but he was captivated by his girlfriend who stood in the doorway. Her hair fell in loose waves down her back, tucked behind her ears. Her hazel eyes highlighted by the rose gold smokey eye and her lips were painted bright red. Bright red to match the lace romper that covered the length of her arms but bared her legs. Legs that looked never ending thanks to the black strapped heels she was wearing. She was too busy putting her last minute essentials in her studded clutch - Relentless Red by Mac for touch-ups, Hourglass highlight and her phone, keys etc, to notice Jay gawking at her until Eden broke the silence.

"Damn girl, you look a million dollars," she giggled, capturing Erin's attention. It had been a few days since Jay opened up to Erin about his situation and since then, she and Eden had been getting along famously. They were expecting to stay a bit longer than planned so Jay had offered his apartment to her as he stayed at Erins most nights anyway. She was curled up on the couch, Penny in her lap snoring lightly, in a slouchy top and sweat pants as she prepared to stay in for the night.

"I bet you could give me a run for my money if you actually came," Erin replied, "we both have plus ones, I know people who would babysit!"

"Thank-you, really, but I'd rather stay in. New Year isn't really my thing, plus I think I owe you two some time together," she laughed again, taking a mental note of how much time she'd spent with Jay since arriving.

"We appreciate it Eden, honestly we do," Jay finally snapped out of his trance and joined the conversation. He used her leg to help him get up, eager to get Erin on his arm.

"Don't forget to call when you want to come back, I'll be up to watch the NYC ball drop anyway, no point in wasting money on a cab right?"

"You're a star, thank-you Eden," Erin shouted as Jay rushed her out of the apartment. 9 pm and they were running late already, little to his surprise. He loved events like such, for multiple reasons; one of which being driving. He loved it when she wore high heels, they made her legs look sexy as hell and it meant she couldn't drive, it was a win win situation as far as he was aware. Once he was in steady flowing traffic, he settled with one hand on the wheel and the other resting on her thigh. The city was dark, light from the streetlights often flashing over where his hand rested. She kept catching him glancing at her out of her peripheral vision, causing a smile to spread across her face.

"Did I tell you just how incredible you look tonight?" Jay asked smoothly, eyes on the road, his smile mirroring hers. She placed her hand on top of his, stroking his thumb with her index finger.

"You didn't, but feel free to say it again. I guess you could say you look you look kinda handsome yourself."

They spent the rest of the car journey enjoying each other's silence and preparing themselves for the night ahead; God knew it was going to be a one to remember. Erin looped her arm through Jay's, holding him tightly as they walked up the concrete steps to the hotel. He could feel her quivering against him in the winter cold - her sublime ensemble did everything for her figure but not so much to protect her from the elements of the polar vortex. She sighed a deep breath of relief as they entered through the lobby and headed towards the music that was coming from tall oak doors that were on the other side.

The theme of the party was "Black Tie" so naturally, the room was decorated in monochrome. Lilies and daisies in black vases were placed every so often along each of the bars that were along most sides of the room. White drapes hung from ceiling with silver ties, catching the light from the reflection of the mirrors along the back sides of the bars. All of the men stuck to black suits, whereas the women of Chicago added colour to the room with amazing outfits that would give any A-list event a run for its money. The tables of 6 surrounding the outside of the dance floor were covered in jet black table cloths, as were the chairs, with white squared ceramics and similar centrepieces to the bar while the name places were held in chrome stars that stood next to the empty glasses that were awaiting drinks.

Erin barely noticed Jay slip from her arms to the bar as she was stood in awe at the beauty of the room - the city had really gone all out for them. She watch as Gabby made her way over. Her midi, black cocktail dress nipped and tucked all of the right places, the diamond cut-out beneath the chest making her waist look even smaller.

"I just had to get away from Matt's ridiculous dancing," she started, throwing a glance to what looked like murder on the dance floor between Casey and Mills.

"He's gonna run out of shapes before the end of the night if he keeps throwing them like that," Erin joked in return. "You look amazing Gabby!"

"You too! It's nice to be out of uniform to be honest. Sometimes I think the guys forget I'm a girl underneath all the gear."

"Trust me girl, I don't even wear gear and I have that problem. It's good to let our hair down y'know, I even hear the guys are doing kareoke later," she laughed. "I heard you're on a table with us for food?"

"Sure am, you, Jay, Voight, Antonio, myself and Matt right? Sounds like a party in itself." The tension between Voight and Matt had lifted a little since he helped Ruzek out with Matt's sister but there was still bad blood however the two were expected to be civil at the least and they managed just that. Not long after Jay brought himself another Scotch and Erin a glass of red, everyone was seated for the first of three courses. The evening went on and Chicago's first responders ate and drank and laughed the night closer to the New Year. It was around 11pm when karaoke was called up, and Atwater, Jay and Ruzek nearly jumped out of their skins.

"2.0?" They asked each other in unison, cheeky grins creeping across their faces as they rushed up. They only just gave Erin, Kim and Gabby enough time to reach the bar to watch with a drink in hand, although no amount of alcohol could prepare them for what was coming.

Jay, Kevin and Adam all stood on small raised stage, mic in hand almost buzzing with excitement for what was going to happen. They were guys guys, and basked in anything which gave them the opportunity to make complete fools of themselves, especially if it involved Kanye West. It was safe to say they didn't look the part stood up their in their suits; Jay in his tailored Hugo Boss that he saved for special occasions, skinny tie reaching just above his belt with his Star of David cufflinks glinting in the light, Atwater's white shirt hugging his muscles as he opted out of his jacket for the performance and Ruzek's bow tie making him look like he was on his way to prom, matching his subtly neutral plaid handkerchief that poked out of his pocket - when Drunk In Love began to play. The ladies flashed furrowed brows to each other, confusion filling them all to the brim until it took a turn, proving to be the Kanye remix which explained _everything._

Kevin started with the intro to the first verse:

"Woo! You will never need another lover

Woo! Cause you a milf and I'm a motherfucker, told you give the drummer some, now the drummer cummin'

I'm pa rum pa pum pumin' all on your stomach yeah, tonight I see some super freaky hoes

That could go from bein' stripper to a super C.E.O, I don't know the way you do it, but you do it to me though

And you always told your girlfriends you need you a TV show"

Kim nearly spat out her drink as she watched her ex partner throw himself all over the stage like a natural, it was scary how good Atwater pulled it off. He clearly practiced. Jay was next, and he was without a doubt not ready to follow in Kevin's footsteps.

"Now you got your own money, you don't need nobody else but far as handlin' all that ass, I think you gon' need some help," he started off, spitting lines like it was second nature. '_So this is what he does in his spare time,' _Erin thought to herself, smiling as he locked eyes on her. Kelly Severide was on the other side of the bar, watching as Erin's face lit up while she watch her partner-gone-boyfriend up on stage.

"Let me remind you, you got a, you got a great future behind you

You gotta tell me what we tryna do

I ain't no pastor, don't do missionary, I know good pussy when I see it, I'm a visionary

I know them haters talkin', always had us very wary

Yup! On the 35th of Nevuary

Yup! You love the way I'm turnt"

He never took eyes off her the entire of his verse, causing her to stand in kinks as she took note of the lyrics. As he ended his line, ready for Ruzek to takeover he flashed her a wink, hoping she's understand what he was anticipating after the clock turned 12. Kim took a deep breath in and braced herself as Adam took the mic. He tried to compose himself but failed as he wore a silly boyish grin throughout his performance.

"After all the money you earned, still show daddy what you learned

That cowgirl, you reverse that cowgirl, you reverse, you reverse, and I impregnated your mouth, girl, ooooh

That's when I knew you could be my spouse, girl

We fuckin' all over the house, girl, we just messed up a brand new couch, girl

You ain't on site then you on Skype I put you on that bike, you bound, girl

We too wild, won't turn down we drunk in love, fuck them."

"And I thought Matt was bad," Gabby motioned with her empty glass. "I think we deserve a dance after being subjected to that."

"I second that," Kim snickered, heading towards the dance floor with Gabby.

"I'll head on up in a second, I told Jay I'd meet him here with another drink," she shouted as they veered away from her to dance to the rest of Drunk In Love.

She beckons two more drinks as the clock inches closer to midnight while she waited for Jay, before hearing a husky, familiar voice speak her name. She turns her neck to see Severide leaning sideways against the bar, looking too comfortable for her liking.

"It's good to see you, Erin," he spoke kindly, almost sounding sarcastically sincere.

"What do you want, Kelly?" She asked bluntly. There was a reason they hadn't spoken since his biased bar brawl with Jay. She glanced at him, then straight back at the bartender as she thanked him for the drinks.

"To see how you are? Am I not allowed?"

"Not really, no. You made where we stand perfectly clear in Molly's." She was trying to stop herself from getting angry; he wasn't worth ruining her entrance to the New Year.

"And so did you by running off with Halstead but I'm not holding any grudges," he fired back, somehow still remaining fairly calm.

"Consequential to your own actions, not that it has anything to do with you. Just go Kelly, please?"

Jay could see the frustrated look on her face as he picked up his speed when he noticed the fire-fighter standing too close for comfort.

"Am I interrupting anything?" He asked dead on, wrapping his arms tight around Erin's waist and pulling her close. Kelly's eyes dilated the second they touched, clearly not happy with the arrangement.

"Not at all, he was just leaving." Erin said, turning to smile at him as relief flushing her face as he came to her rescue. Kelly spun round and walked away.

"Good, because c'mon, everyone's headed outside for the countdown," he whispered in her ear as he leaned in to kiss her neck before pulling her with him, his arm not leaving her waist.

"Congrats on the performance by the way," she chuckled as they followed the crowd out to the front.

"What can I say, I think I'm in the wrong job." His warmth radiated against her body, something she was very thankful for as they stepped into the cold, again.

She pulled away from him slowly as the positioned to watch the fireworks go after the countdown. His hand remained resting on her waist, perfect to size as she looked up into his eyes. No amount of high heel could match him on height. He took a moment to take her all in, her beauty accentuated by the moonlight, before his train of thought was interrupted by her raspy voice.

"Jay?"

"Erin?"

"10! 9!" Chicago's finest started to chant in unison as 2014 came closer and closer to an end. The marathon bombing, Pulpo, targeted arson, Shay's death. All of the things weren't sorry to be leaving behind.

"Thank-you, so much for this year. You've been there for me so much, what with Charlie and Voight, even when I haven't managed to be there for you with the Corsons and Eden. You're so good to me and I promise I'm going to-"

"7! 6!" They continued as Jay took off his jacket at the sight of Erin shivering as she spoke. But Baby Boden and Baby Voight, Gabby and Casey's engagement, the opening of Molly's, the unison of the departments. All of the things they were happy to carry into 2015.

"-I'm going to make it up to you this year. I'm going to be what you deserve."

"4!"

Jay paused, taking in everything she said, trying to hide the beam that was trying to emerge. He wrapped his jacket around her cold body and pulled her close with his grip on the material.

"I don't doubt that for a second," he smiled and spoke softly, leaning in closer to her, his breath warm against her icy skin.

"3! 2!"

"This is going to be our year, Erin," he whispered before pressing his lips against hers softly as the crowd cheered "_HAPPY NEW YEAR_" and the fireworks went off over the Navy Pier. Sparks showered as their kiss lasted a lifetime, or so it seemed. The fireworks went off over the pier, and in Erin's stomach, and in their mouths as the idea of the coming year with each other excited them both equally as much as the other.

**Closing A/N: Well? I thought it would be nice for a break in the plot to prepare you all for what's coming. I'll hopefully update pretty quick as I'm so excited about this so keep your eyes peeled!**


	10. Typical Irish Stereotype

**A/N: You guys really loved hearing about James which makes me real excited to write him more. Despite not being alive, he's still a key character and you'll hear a lot from him (past tense ofc). Let me know if you think I'm doing him justice? Also let me know who you'd have play him and Eden if they were real characters, I'm curious!  
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Jay's alcohol-induced slumber was rudely interrupted at around 10 a.m the next morning. He wracked his brain in a poor attempt to remember getting home last night but he failed miserably. Despite barely being able to lift his head under the weight of his hangover, the sound of giggles and squeals from the living room filled him with happiness immediately. He scrambled out of the bed in a bid to get up without waking Erin, who was slung over the edge of the bed herself, hair in her face. God only knew how she was going to feel when she woke. He stumbled as he stood up, feeling slightly still drunk and carried his half-naked body into the living room to be met with the glowing faces of Eden and Penny.

He watched in awe as Eden leaned over her daughter, Penny's light auburn curls spread over his floor. Her smile spread across her face as she watched her mum raise her arms and throw them back down to tickle her.

"Mama, mama," escaped her mouth alongside howls of laughter as she writhed all over to try and escape Eden's hands, to no avail. He continued to watch as he went to throw himself on the sofa.

"I see she's still not speaking much?" He asked. Although Penny was approaching 2, and should have had a vocabulary of around 20 words, she wasn't making much progress in speech development, which worried both Jay and Eden.

"She's getting there, doctors have ruled out selective mutism for now with her being so young, they just wanna wait and see really. How are you feeling anyway, you were a mess last night!" She grinned widely as she watch Penny scramble to his feet.

"Don't even talk to me about it," he rolled his eyes as he picked her up under her arms and threw her over his shoulder gently. "I remember everything up to the countdown, unfortunately, but very little after."

"Unfortunately?"

"Erin's jealous ex made an appearance, just before the countdown. Nothing big but just seeing his face kinda pisses me off, y'know?" He barely finished before receiving a sharp sting to his arm. He turned to look at Penny on his shoulder, to see her trying to look angry but looking adorable instead.

"Naughty!" She said loudly, after he realised he'd cursed in front of her.

"Yes, yes I am baby, I'm sorry though," he whined, gaining a sloppy peck on the cheek from her. After getting back in her good books, he turned back to her mom. "And the karaoke . Oh God the karaoke. Do you remember when James got us up that one Chri-" He stopped mid-sentence as he watched her flinch at his name. She'd been with him for nearly a week and they had completely avoided speaking about James. "Eden, I'm sorry."

"No. No, it's fine." She lied through gritted teeth. She missed her husband so much, and had little chance to talk about him so whenever the topic arose, it was like ripping off a band. "How could I forget?" Her gritted teeth grew into a reluctant smile as memories of her soulmate flooded back.

_She was stood in a crowded Irish bar, waiting for what seemed like forever for her first taste of genuine Guinness. The girls had gone to find a table, leaving her alone to fetch the round so they could get in the swing of things for the night. They had landed in Dublin little under 3 hours ago and hadn't even unpacked before checking out the town and now she really wished she'd had time to freshen up after the flight. She was scanning the room, just to see if she could find a handsome, broody guy who would fit the 'typical Irish' stereotype that people seemed to have. So far she wasn't having any luck, so in an attempt to grab the attention of a bartender, she stood on her tiptoes and stretched her arms across the bar - she still had flakes of snow resting in her waves from the walk through Dublin. Her 5'2 petite frame did her no favours as she seemed to be invisible to the bar staff causing her to let out a deep sigh, until she saw a heavy hand placed down beside her arm._

"_Excuse me," a thick Irish accent bellowed across the bar. A few heads turned, one small ginger man walking in response. "I think this lovely lady has been waiting an awful while for a drink here."_

_She looked up at the man who had come to her rescue, although if she looked up too long she might have gotten a stiff neck, he was that tall. His sharp jawline was buried beneath dark but full stubble - not long enough to be classed as a beard, and his hair swept slightly to the left. Stood behind him was another handsome man, just not as tall. He had lighter hair and seemed more than bemused at his friends attempt to introduce himself._

"_4 pints of Guinness, please," she asked the bartender politely, despite being real pissed that she needed the help of a guy to order._

"_Ooh, that's impressive that is," the Irish man added again. "Let me guess, you're a proper Irish gal?" A cheeky grin spread across his face before she even answered._

"_Sorry to disappoint you," she started, her first response to him, "I'm from Stateside." She grinned and shrugged, slightly sarcastically._

"_Bro, I told you. She has Chicago written all over her!" His friend shouted, punching the Irishman in the arm._

"_How did you know?" She asked, surprised that the other guy could have known._

"_Complete guess. But as a Chicago native myself, I was pretty confident."_

"_Hey man Jay, I'm trying here," his friend frowned back at him._

"_Okay I'm going, but we're up in like five minutes," Jay replied throwing his hands up and nodding to the stage as he walked backwards._

"_Oh no, you aren't, are you?" She groaned inwardly. Karaoke was her biggest hate. Open mic night, perfect; amateurs bursting her eardrums, not so much._

"_C'mon you can't say that when I don't even know your name," he smiled. She couldn't help but smile at his smile, and he hadn't stopped smiling since he came over so she gathered she must have looked like a fool for a while now. There was something about this guy, she just couldn't put her finger on it. She looked at the floor and laughed at his attempts._

"_Eden, my name is Eden," she said as she looked up and caught his gaze._

"_Fairytale of New York, for the stage," another thick Irish voice boomed over she sound system._

_Well that's me," he laughed as he started walking away. _

_She struggled back to the table with the drinks, only to be met with inquisitive faces asking where she'd been. She shrugged it off to a queue at the bar, which wasn't entirely a lie but in all honesty, she just didn't want to miss the mystery men on stage. She watched as the American - Jay, grabbed a guitar and took a few seconds to tune it while the Irishman settled with a mic next to a female vocalist. He stood for a while, leaving Jay confused on stage while he scanned the audience, the corners of his lips curving as he spotted her._

"_This one's for you," he said, not breaking eye contact yet leaving the rest of the bar bewildered as they began their song. She watched as he sang slowly at first, but when the third verse began he was full of such enthusiasm and fun, completely letting go on stage with his friend. They brought the bar alive, it seemed they were singing a song that was popular over here, and she could see why. The atmosphere was full of warmth and Christmas spirit compared to the crowded, claustrophobic-ness of earlier, the change was incredible. She was so wrapped up in festivities that had overcome the bar, she had failed to notice the eager Irishman wade through the crowd to her, until he was right in front of her._

"_Lovely to meet you Eden," he smiled as he reached around her waist and pulled her in close. The rash movement from the man who despite being a stranger; she felt like she'd known forever shocked her into silence. The muscles in her cheeks struggled to form a smile at the sound of his voice again. "I'm James," he continued after pulling her in even closer that the tip of her nose was touching his, before pressing a soft, passionate kiss on her lips._

"Y'know, he never shut up about you after that. When we went back out on tour, that song was all he'd play. He swore it was what 'got him the girl'," Jay laughed, mimicking James' accent towards the end of the sentence. He shot little glances at Eden, in an attempt to read her face.

"He wouldn't be lying. If there's one thing I'll never forget, it's that night. It changed my life." He face was glowing, she was apprehensive about talking about James but it was written all over her how happy it made her. He really didn't want to bring down the atmosphere. He waited a moment before talking again, enjoying the way the positive energy that radiated from her.

"He's the reason I asked you here Eden, I need to ask you something." He held back from diving right into the topic. She just looked up at him, shifting her feet from beneath her as her mind pondered the possibilities.

"I uh, I'm being recruited by the FBI. Heavily too."

"Jay, that's amazing!" She said as she got up to sit on the sofa and face him. "How come?"

"That's the thing. They've had their eyes on me for a while apparently. And a while I mean since James' recovery mission. I mean, I'm not sure exactly why I haven't even spoken to anyone except my sargeant about it but I'm like 90% sure that's what it is."

Erin had been laid in bed for about 5 minutes before faint muttering between Jay and Eden had urged her to get out of bed. Being nosey was one of her less desirable traits, but she succumbed and crawled out of the bed slowly and made her way to the edge of the doorway.

"Have you spoken to Erin about it?" Eden enquired, a puzzled look painting her face.

"Uh, not yet. I wanted to kind of clear my head first. How can I talk to her about getting a promotion out of the suicide of my best friend Edie?" His voice was quiet, careful not to wake Erin but filled with despair.

"That isn't what it would be Jay!" She caressed his arm in an attempt to make him feel at ease. "You saved him."

"Not quick enough. He's not here and it's my fault. I should never have left him."

"Don't do this to yourself Jay, you did everything you could and then some for him. You need to stop doing this to yourself. You need to stop doing this to yourself. He would be crazy proud of you. The FBI? Like that's' a big deal." She offered him a weak smile, taken aback by his job offer but hurting inside because of what he burdened himself with.

"I know, I just can't shake the reason they want me for. How can I justify moving up in the world when he can't even watch me do it?" His lip quivering as he spoke.

Lindsay slumped her body against the doorframe, letting all of this information about how he felt flow through her, trying to let it sink in. Despite being saddened by the fact he didn't want to tell her how he felt because he was scared it would change how she felt, she was torn by the fact he felt like that way in the first place. She took a deep breath before straightening her posture and opening the door.

"Because that's what he'd want Jay, I'm sure Eden would back me up but from what I've heard, the last thing James would have wanted was for you to put your life on hold because of him. She's right, it's a big deal." She kissed the side of his neck as she stood behind him, resting her arms on his shoulders.

He looked up at her, finding solace in the fact that neither of them agreed with the way he felt about it. He felt a massive weight leave his shoulders as he thought hard about what they were saying. Maybe they were right but the guilt still manifested itself in the back of his head.


End file.
